For All The Little Kids Climbing Trees (Spoken Word)

Thought Catalog

#SpokenWordSaturday


When I was 7,
I used to climb the tallest tree in my backyard,
nestle myself in her open arms,
and we’d watch the entire world pass us by.
I named her Grandmother Willow, not only because I watched Pocahontas so many times the tape broke, but because this tree too could talk.
She would whisper secrets,
the chime of her leaves in the wind was our special code,
and she knew she was safe when she confided in me.
She told me of my neighbor, that he often stayed awake until odd hours in the morning,
that once she saw him kiss a woman who did not look like his wife in the middle of the driveway.

We were mortified.

We laughed when we learned the boy with sun-kissed cheeks and glasses had a crush on my mom.
Grandmother Willow learned this when he stuffed anonymous love letters…

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What happened?

So, the other day I was talking to a guy friend from high school. And, we had a great big heart-to-heart and were filling each other in to what we’ve been up to since graduation. About halfway through the conversation he says to me, “Wow, you are a goddess.” Like…..what? While I agree (as all women should feel like the goddesses they are) I was just shocked that he said this to me. Where was that kind of adoration when we were in all the same high school classes? Honestly, I’m still the same person today that I was all through school. So, why did it take four years for this kid to recognize my redeeming qualities? I’m just so confused. It’s as if he had to hear about all of the great things my boyfriend and I do together to think, “Hey, she is actually something that other men like. Maybe I like this too. I definitely like this too.”

Oh, if you’re wondering, my response to him was: “Of course I’m a goddess; I always have been.”

Goals and Disappointments

As you might be aware, I’m currently on a journey toward getting more fit and loving myself more. Well, things are going spectacularly in the love department! However, my fit challenge has fallen off a little in the past week.

My best friend and I go to the gym multiple times during the week and keep each other accountable for our exercise. This week I, unfortunately, have not made it to the gym a single time. Now, I’m not upset with myself for not going; I’d rather be alive and less fit than be in a car accident. I am upset that I haven’t been making the best choices as a result. When I work out I feel more than prepared to turn down desserts and all of the terrible food that has had its hands on the control center of my brain since I was very young. When I fail to go to the gym I am more tempted to indulge myself, and I have more time to do so. I’m really trying. More than I’ve ever tried before. I have so many people encouraging me, but I want to make sure that I don’t give up. It just gets really hard when there are so factors keeping me from the gym.

One bright side is that I really do miss working out. I miss being able to focus and give all of my energy toward something so positive. It helps to reduce my stress and sleep at night without overthinking everything. Above all else, I miss the time I get to spend with Tori (seriously check her blog out: https://torimakeschanges.wordpress.com/).

Just writing this keeps me motivated to get my bottom back on that track!

Hopefully my next post will be about all of the walking and biking I was able to do 🙂

Until then, I wish you the best.

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